Hey! Isn't that ... ??

I’ve realized that I think I see famous people way more than the average person. At least once a day I think I see a celebrity. It doesn’t help that my office contains two huge windows that overlook M Street, and if a celebrity is in town there’s a good chance that they will at some point walk past my window. It’s happened before with a tiny little chain-smoking celebrity named Eva Longoria-Parker (though she was just Eva Longoria back then) and more recently with Mia Farrow.

But more often, I’ll hear the next day that someone wildly famous was in town and they were spotted walking along M Street in Georgetown … they were right under my nose and I missed them! That’s happened before with George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. So because there’s a real likelihood that I could see a celebrity, I’m constantly getting faked out by people who just look like celebrities.

Case in point: Monday night at the grocery store I actually went a couple aisles out of my way to follow a man I was CERTAIN was Homeland Security Director, Michael Chertoff. (it’s DC … to me, politicians fall under the category of “celebrity”, especially when they get cool guys in black suits and earpieces following them around.) But I was wrong because I saw faux-Michael Chertoff in the parking lot putting his groceries in a beat-up old 4Runner.

That same grocery store visit I thought I saw Johnny Cochran in the produce section. Yes, I know he’s dead. But the man still has to eat! Ok, no he doesn’t … but the guy I saw looked JUST like him.

Recently I thought I saw Nancy Reagan coming out of Kiehl’s across the street. But I understand that trips to Kiehl’s might be difficult when you’re hospitalized with a hip fracture.

And then there was the time that I was SURE I saw Janet Reno in the elevator, but Dave later forwarded me a news article detailing how Janet Reno was in a car accident in Florida at the time I thought I was in the elevator with her.

So the moral of my post today is: If I tell you that I saw a celebrity/politician, I’m probably mistaken. But then again, Eva Longoria, maybe I’m not.

Practical jokes aren't always practical.

Today I learned that it isn't nice to drench a paper towel in a gross perfume that smells like pancake syrup and tape it under a co-worker's desk, even if that co-worker says that nothing annoys her. Such an activity can lead to headaches, nausea, temporary blindness, and a loss of smell. Who knew?? Sorry Lori.

Where does the time go?

In between watching the total eclipse of the moon and going to the gym every night this week (Zumba again tonight, albeit with an easier instructor) I have run out of time to pen my blog. But don't worry, loyal readers - I'll be sure to have an entertaining post tomorrow. I have so much to talk about, like Erin visiting my apartment and discovering that there is a ghost portal directly above my bed! There's never a dull moment :)

For now, I will leave you with a photo of me and my dear friend, Meredith ...

Zoooooomba

Last night’s Zumba class was a killer! I could tell right away that I drank and smoked way too much over the weekend. If you aren’t familiar with Zumba, it’s a Latin-inspired cardio dance class. We do cardio versions of the samba, merengue, cumbia and salsa. You can burn about 600 calories in an average class, but our Monday night class is anything but average! I’m 99% sure our instructor used to be a German prison guard. Just when I think I’m about to pass out, she’ll yell something like “Give me more!” or “Work harder!” I mean, how is that even possible?
Instead of our normal cooldown exercises (slow step-touching, stretching) our instructor had each of us grab a mat so we could lie down to do a horizontal cooldown. I should note that, as a strict germaphobe, I don’t use the mats at the gym because I’d prefer not to contract an antibiotic-resistant staph infection. So my cooldown was spent doing everything I could not to touch the mat. I was trying so hard not to touch the mat or the surrounding floor that I’m pretty sure I achieved the ability to levitate.
Needless to say I was more exhausted AFTER the cooldown than I was prior to it. That might explain why I started seeing spots as I was driving home after class. I was trying to determine if this was a warning sign that I was about to faint at the wheel, but since the gym is only a mile from my house I decided to roll down the window and press my luck. I made it home, but it was touch and go.

I’d like to give a shout out to all of my traveling co-workers that are back in the office today after being on the road at tradeshows since the late 90’s. Oh … they’ve only been away a couple weeks? Well, welcome home anyway! It’s nice to have other people around to take the focus off of me and the mistakes I’m making! You’ve been missed!

Monday, Monday.

Since I'm new at this blogging biz-nas, I (like a dork) wrote down a list of the things that I wanted to write about today.

Random note #1 ... We went on a kegbus for Tracy's birthday this weekend, and on the way to dinner beforehand, Chris, Brent and I saw a man cross the street riding a unicycle. Yes, a unicycle. Who rides a unicycle besides clowns?? Well I was not aware that there was a clown college near the East Falls Church metro, but apparently there is.

RN #2 ... We ate dinner at a place called Elevation Burger. This restaurant is located WELL outside my Clarendon/Ballston/Rosslyn comfort zone in Falls Church, and it totally showed. We arrived to find the parking lot chock full of minivans and Volvos, each containing at least two Eddie Bauer carseats. This should have tipped me off that I was about to enter Yuppie heaven and I should have immediately run the other way. But we entered the restaurant anyway, and let me tell you ... it was like Ann Taylor herself threw up all over every person eating in this place. It was obnoxious. And the thing about yuppie couples is that they feel the need to spread their yuppie seeds by birthing as many children as they can afford to put in Montessori school. The place was crawling with little yuppie children, fresh out of the Mommy-and-Me class at the local gym. The mothers and fathers all socialized ("My Volvo is Baltic Black. What color is your Volvo, Andrew?") while the children occupied every seat in the place, leaving me, Brent and Chris to sit together at a table half-occupied by a 10-foot neon Elevation Burger window sign. Luckily, my veggie burger was delish, as were the french fries and unbaked cookies, so I'll probably go back there tonight.

RN #3 ... The kegbus was amazing! It came with a driver and a hostess. Our hostess was the lovely Kathleen, who remembered that I was from the 314/STL and would therefore drink no beer other than Bud Light. And our driver was also a firefighter/EMT, which came in QUITE handy when Tyler hit his forehead on the bus and we had to decide if he needed stitches (the driver said he didn't need them, so we didn't have to drive the kegbus to the ER). Chris tried to help Tyler by bringing him a cleansing towelette for his wound, but he accidentally brought him a beesting towelette instead so that didn't really help the gash.

RN #4 ... Sunday I watched the Daytona 500, which I find is the perfect thing to do every President's Day weekend when I'm hungover from celebrating Tracy's birthday. 200,000 people attended this year's race, which lead me to believe that I, too, should attend a NASCAR event. Ellen and I will have to decide if we want to go to Dover or to Richmond, and I'll need to get some gear so I blend in. I'm thinking about a Jeff Gordon t-shirt, a camo-colored hunting cap, stonewashed jeans and white hightop sneakers. If anyone else has any ideas to help me blend in with the NASCAR crowd, please share them with me.

OK, back to work. Tonight is Zumba with the really hard instructor! God help me.

Hello World!

So Lori just came into my office and announced she started a blog. "Kim," she said, "why don't you have a blog? Of anyone, YOU should have a blog." So with 11 minutes left in the workday, I have decided to start a blog. Here I am, world! All blogged out. Now I have to come up with funny things to post. Will I have regular readership? A public, if you will? Or will these posts be just for me? Only time will tell. And right now time is telling me that there are 6 minutes left in the workday and so it's time to start collecting my belongings so I can embark on my weekend. OH! There's a kegbus in my weekend plans so I can only imagine that I will have some pretty funny stories to post on Monday!