If my blog were alive, I would have killed it by now.

So I realize that it has been ages since I’ve updated my blog. Thank you, loyal readers, for continuing to check back for updates, and the good news is that yesterday I ordered wireless broadband access from Verizon, so my laptop will finally be able to be used for something other than playing solitaire. Since DSL “is not yet available in my area” (Arlington is apparently an area inhabited by the Amish) I had to resort to dial-up. That lasted for about 2 hours, at which point I actually shook my fists in a fit of rage after waiting 90 minutes for “See You Again” by Miley Cyrus to download. So the bottom line is that I’ll be able to write my blog from home! Yay!
So, let’s see… what’s new with me? Well, I’m going to become a mother. Before anyone gets in a panic that the there’s been another Immaculate Conception, I am becoming a mother to a cat. It’s actually my cousin Kathy’s newest cat (they have several) who isn’t getting along with the other kitties. After determining that cats are now allowed in my apartment, I decided to take Belle into my care on a trial basis. I say it’s on a trial basis, but I’ve already made a couple purchases for her so I can’t imagine giving her back. The first purchases were my favorites:

Yes, my intention is to make my cat look like a drag queen.

Speaking of drag queens, I took a Memorial Day trip with Chris and Dave Johnson! We went to the beach house and eventually my whole family came up for the weekend. Some highlights:

Driving to central Jersey to meet up with Neil AstraZeneca, Timmy, and a lady named Mario to go to the fabulously tacky Empress hotel. If you’ve never been to the Empress, just picture an 70’s era hotel with a rave going on in the lobby. We hung out poolside next to the hot dog stand (the irony really is amazing, isn’t it?) and met a man named Hollywood. Hollywood looked like he had spent the last 16 hours in a Mystic Tan booth, and upon emerging, bee-lined it to Liberace’s closet to select his outfit for the night. Chris made a wise observation later in the evening: “If you are ever having a bad day and feeling down, just look yourself in the mirror and say ‘Well, at least I’m not Hollywood.’”

Ending our night at a bar across from the Empress that had an 80’s dance party going on in a room that adjoined a male strip club. (a stripper was walking along the bar and tried to make conversation with me, at which point I simultaneously dropped my lip gloss and almost knocked over my drink. Very smooth, I know!) At one point we formed a conga line around the dancefloor and I tried to do the Roger Rabbit. It was one of THOSE nights. We stopped at a surprisingly crowded White Castle on the way home, I kept slapping myself to stay awake on the drive home, Chris and I did danced the Turbo Polka (WOOO!) and we got home at 4am. Overall, a pretty good night!

“You know, Betty Boop is the American Hello Kitty.”
- Chris, upon seeing a lifesize statue of Betty Boop outside an antiques shop.

Well I don’t want to have all of my fun at once, so check back for blog updates on the following topics: strawberry picking with Dave and Hex, petsitting for Bridget the baby bulldog, Brendan’s first birthday preparations, and how I suddenly know a bunch of pregnant ladies!

PS-I did it!