Seriously?

I was in the Georgetown Starbucks earlier this week (I'm there every day, but this particular event happened earlier in the week) and was waiting by the fixins bar so I could prepare my coffee. The G'town S'Bucks is almost always crowded, and the fixins bar is large enough to accommodate two or three people at most. So I stood patiently near the large table in the window and waited for my turn. There was a lady sitting at the table, and she was all bundled up like it was 30 below outside, which I found odd considering it was like 75 degrees and sunny. She looked very haggard and if she weren't talking on her cell phone I would have guessed that she was homeless. She looked exactly like this:

But I needed a place to stand as I waited, and I set down my coffee at her table as I put my Metro card away, got out my work keys etc.. It was then that I could hear her end of the phone conversation…
"Look, it's hard to take care of yourself when you don't have any money. I'm trying, but you need money to be healthy. So anyway, I finally went to the doctor and they found blood in my urine, and my white blood cell count was very high, which means I'm infected."

In the history of movement, I don't think anyone has ever moved as quickly as I did to grab my coffee and get away from that lady. Who says that in public??? And who goes out in public when you’re a host to some type of freaky infection?

Then yesterday I was waiting for the bus after work and there was a young man waiting at the bus stop next to me. He was very skinny, chain-smoking, and fidgety. He was carrying two huge bags from Ye Olde Vitamin Shoppe, and because he was so fidgety he was pacing back and forth in front of me. It's a pretty dull task waiting for the bus, so I had nothing else to do but watch him and examine the contents of his bag. He had four huge buckets of "Super Mega Mass Weight Gain 2000" powder. Hmmmm... was he trying to gain weight??

Well the bus was taking a little longer than usual and I could tell he was getting more and more anxious by his constant pacing. I had my Zune on and nowhere to be, so I didn't mind the wait too much. Apparently Weight Gain Boy couldn't take it anymore because after consulting his watch about three times, he took off running. I mean, even with his 80-pounds of powder, he was in a full sprint.

About 3 minutes after he left, the #31 bus to Friendship Heights arrived and I boarded. We made our first stop and who should get on the bus but Weight Gain Boy! He was drenched in sweat, presumably from sprinting while carrying the weight of a small adult. I wanted to say to him, "This is why you need to purchase weight gain powder! Just stand still for two seconds and you'll gain some weight. Trust me - you'll gain some weight!" I just don’t understand people!